Well this is probably the last post I will be writing from my flat in London! Yes, the time has come for me to leave. After 11years in the United Kingdom, I am returning to Hong Kong for at least 1 year but possibly more. I'm going back to study a Masters but truth be told, if I get a job or find something else to do after I will probably stay there, at least for a couple of years.
There are things I love about London: the vibrant West End, the free museums, my beautiful flat... But there are also things that I dislike about the place and after what I've been through in the last few years, I just feel like it's time I went home.
Funny word, HOME. More than ever I think the expression: "Home is where the heart is", has become applicable to me.
Being a nomad and having travelled so much in my life I often feel like I'm not sure where home really is. I find it difficult to tell people Hong Kong or France or London are my homes because there's reasons for and against that being true. Honestly, I think it shouldn't matter! It's only geography...
When I'm with my family and surrounded by people who love me I feel at home. But sometimes, after spending a long time with them in France or HK, I yearn to return to London where I feel comfortable because I know how things work and I've gotten used to the way of life.
I never thought I'd say this but I think I'll missed being called darling or babe.
HK is a great place and customer service is usually very good there but there's a difference between someone being polite and smiling at you and someone who talks to you as if they know you. I must admit that at first I actually found it annoying and patronising but I've come to realise that it's a form of affection and I've actually come to like it. When I walk into my local newsagent's, the man behind the counter gives me a huge smile and asks me how I've been since the last time I came in.
Maybe this type of interaction happens in HK but I have to admit I've not experienced it until now. Perhaps once I've settled there again and start to frequent the same places regularly I'll build up that rapport with people.
Another thing I think I will greatly miss is the night-life. HK has some nice bars but it's just a different type of atmosphere. There's nothing quite like the clubs in London only because depending on where you are the atmosphere can be so different. Going out in the west end usually means you are surrounded by pretty people who take themselves a bit too seriously and are out to impress whereas clubs in the less pretentious North or East London provide good music and easy going crowds.
But all these things at the end of the day are superficial. Nothing can replace family and close friends. Sure, I'm leaving a couple of good friends behind, but I know that I will keep in touch with them and see them again. And those that I don't.... Well let's face it, they probably aren't worth the bother anyway. Like I said in some previous posts, I have been disappointed time and time again by the selfishness and lack of empathy some of my so-called friends have displayed so I'm looking forward to a fresh start. It's not as if I'm starting from zero anyways as I still have some friends living in HK now. But I think the move will be a good opportunity to "cleanse" myself of negative people. I used to have a ritual every year whereby I would go through my phonebook and delete all the people I hadn't spoken or texted in that last year. Lately I've neglected to do that because I thought to myself: You never know, you might want to speak to them or they might get in touch with you. But I think recent events have clearly shown that some people are just the way they are... And that's fair enough!
I am a loyal, positive and trustworthy person and I need people around me who are in the same mindset. Life is too short to bog yourself down with negativity or superficiality. If friends cause more headaches and heartaches than happiness well they're just not friends to me!
I think that one of the biggest problems we have is that we are social creatures by nature yet our society promotes selfish attitudes. Well at least some of them do anyway... I'm happy to say that there are still places where people have not adopted this intense individualism which doesn't mean to say that everyone lives hand in hand. No, let's be honest, no society is perfect but I do feel that in some places a sense of community is still valued. Perhaps I'm generalising and this is more of a London thing but from what I hear from my friends who live across the pond (USA) it's no better there.
Ever since I was a young girl, capable of thinking independently, I would spend my nights thinking about what I could do to make the world a better place and how I could change things. Life and reality has taught me that those were childish and naive dreams, but it hasn't stopped me from wanting the same things. I still want to make a difference but I've just scaled it down a bit. I've also made the decision that whilst I'm still on my way to becoming a stronger person, instead of being in an environment that will bring me down, I will aim to be somewhere where my potential is nurtured. Once I am strong and have gained experience I will try and tackle the more challenging environments.
I will be blogging against once I'm settled in HK but it might be a few weeks because I'm travelling a little in between. So in the meantime: So long, Farewell, Auf Wiedersehen, Goodbye...
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