10 months: over 3000 cigarettes un-smoked and litres of alcohol and caffeine un-drunk

It’s been exactly 10 months since my pituitary surgery so I thought I would write a quick post summarising my progress so far…

In order to end on a positive note, let me just get the negatives out of the way:

• Only 10kgs weight-loss so far 
• Still having trouble with excessive sweating 
• Buffalo hump at the base of my neck hasn't completely disappeared yet 
• Still having problems with excessive tiredness 
• And I still have the abscess on my neck for which I take anti-biotics

Now for the positives:

• I’ve only had a couple of drinks here and there but overall I am still no longer drinking any alcohol or caffeine which is fine since it's my choice to stop 
• I’ve managed to avoid giving into the cigarette temptation even though I’ve been around many people who smoke 
• My periods are completely regular 
• My stretch marks are less visible 
• I only take 2.5mg of meds every other day for my blood pressure 
• I very rarely get headaches 
• I am able to do some regular exercise 
• Overall I feel good and on the road to recovery

This week, someone on Facebook posted something on their status which I loved and found totally hilarious (and very applicable to me). I want to share it with you now because I think that not only is it funny, but it says a lot about our society and reminds us that we are sometimes too hard on ourselves!

"Before you diagnose yourself with depression or low self esteem, first make sure that you are not, in fact, just surrounded by assholes."-William Gibson

The past is behind, learn from it. The future is ahead, prepare for it. The present is here, live it.

Today I had nothing much to do so I decided to update my blog. Reading through it I realised that it was time for me to edit some of the pages in order to reflect my new situation (i.e. post-op). I have to admit, it was strange having to change some of the verbs to the past tense. Changing sentences from: I get debilitating migraines to I had debilitating migraines, makes me realise how far I’ve come.

In fact, I’m sure if I read through everything I’ve posted so far I would realise what a change a year makes, but to be honest, I don’t think I even need to do that!

Aside from the fact that it would take too long (I really have posted quite a lot in the last year!), the past is still so fresh in my mind that I don’t feel the need to read everything again. I think it is quite obvious by what I said in my last post about how I’m still very sensitive about what I’ve been through and everything I’ve achieved.

But as my blog title states (thank you coolnsmart.com for the quote) I am learning from my past and preparing for the future. I am grateful to still be here in the present and I intend to live it the best way that I can.

Actually, on Saturday I attended Jesus Lifehouse Church, an “extension” of the Hillsong church, here in Hong Kong and I felt like the message was very much aimed at me again. Though I was unable to hear the entire preach because I had to leave early, I got the majority of it. It was based on the following passage: For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline. (Timothy 1:17; NLT).

The pastor reminded us that we often shy away from our full potential because of fear and our most common fears are: Fear of Failure, Fear of the unknown and Fear of what others think.

I very much agree with this and feel like fear has held me back long enough. My aim is to no longer be afraid and enjoy my life. That is not to say that I want to live carelessly or without caution, it just means that as a way of living in the present, I have to stop fearing the past or future.

No pain, No gain...

Firstly, let me apologise for the extremely long gap between the last time I posted and now!
I left London, stayed in Dubai for a few days and have now been trying to settle into Hong Kong.
Things have been going pretty well so far. I've gotten back in touch with old friends, found out more about what I'll be doing at university, registered myself at a local hospital so that they are aware of my post Cushing's status in case anything should happen and joined a gym.

Overall things are good but I'm still struggling a little. One of the hardest things I think, is people now throwing the "But you don't have Cushing's anymore" card at me!! Sure, they're right, I'm medically no longer a Cushing's sufferer now. I'm just a 26year old obese girl with residual acne and a serious sweating problem, but is that really it!? I mean, am I just suppose to get over it, move on, pretend like nothing happened and "get better"?
Sorry but I just can't do that...