Life without limbs/limits

When I was in Hong Kong, I attended a literary lunch for the launch of Nick Vujicic's new book "Life without Limits".

For those of you who don't know who Nick V. is here's is a video about him from YouTube:


This man is truly AMAZING!!! He was born with no arms and no legs but has managed to do so much with his life...

I had seen this video before and it was pure luck that when I got to HK my mum had heard about the lunch and asked me if I was interested. I couldn't wait! I was excited by the prospect of being able to meet a man who had faced so much adversity in his life and was using what some might see as a birth defect to his advantage. He is a motivational speaker who spreads hope, love, joy and faith. He is a spiritual man who not only maintains a great sense of humour but is willing to stand in front of hundreds and sometimes even thousands of people to share his story. All it takes is one look to see that his life must not have been easy!

The lunch was good, Nick spoke for about 20 minutes and we all took group photos with him but we weren't able to ask him any questions. Unfortunately as this was a literary lunch, it was more about promoting the launch of his book, which is completely understandable but I was slightly disappointed. I had spent all of the night before thinking about what I would I ask him. There were so many questions I had but I thought I probably would only be able to ask one so I had decided on what mattered the most to me.
What I would have asked Nick if I had had the chance is this:

We all know that others can be cruel and judgemental, but we are also often our worse critics. In your life, what do you think has been the hardest to overcome: the harsh words and actions of others, or your own negative thoughts about yourself? And how do you deal with either?

You see for me, I can't really decide what has and still is the hardest part to deal with. I want to say that it is the negative thoughts I had about myself all those years when I was depressed and couldn't understand why I kept putting on weight, but really the reason I was so down about everything was because everyone around me made me feel like it was my fault (or at least that I should be able to fix it!). Everywhere I looked and everyone I spoke to just had advice about dieting, exercising and how to get out of a "slump". No one once thought to say to me: "Hey, perhaps there's something really wrong with you?". I mean REALLY wrong! Not just things that can be fixed from being less lazy and greedy, which I wasn't!!! But no one believed me, to the point where I didn't even believe myself....

I'm not trying to blame the people around me (well except maybe the doctors who should have given me a bit more attention), but I think that there is a part of me that remains angry. Angry that I was so misunderstood. But I think what makes this hardest to let go is that even now, over a year after my diagnosis and 17 weeks after my surgery, I still get the same hurtful and prejudicial comments. Now I don't want this post to sound like the last. I'm not gonna keep banging on about how I wish society would change and accept people who are different more, but I will say this: I have decided that if I want a change to happen, I'm gonna have to push it along!! Or as Nick would say:

"If you can't get a miracle, become one" 

So I've decided that although I might not be able to change the minds of all those people who assume everyone who is fat is just a lazy slob and that people with physical differences are less worthy, I can do something for the people like me who need some confidence. To begin with, I'm trying to start a support group with my specialist nurse for sufferers of Pituitary conditions. It is probably unlikely that I would have enough people to start a purely Cushie support group but perhaps by including other conditions we can get a good group started.
Ideally, what I'd really like to do but have no idea where to begin is to start a support group for people who feel like their illness has changed how they see themselves. I'd like to create a group where people who have been changed by illness can come together and share their stories. Where they can discuss how their illness has affected their self esteem and confidence. I know from speaking to others who've suffered from conditions which have altered their appearance that it is not just self centered people who are affected by the fact that they no longer recognise the person they see in the mirror. Even women who seem content, confident and happy can feel less feminine after a mastectomy. Life is hard when you have scars both inside and out.
So this group would empower people to become stronger on the inside and realise their beauty so that they are better equipped not only to face the world around them, but challenge the negative criticism they will cast upon themselves.
After all, EVERYONE deserves a life without limits!!!