Day 14: "I want it"

"I want it"


Yesterday as part of my course I had an introductory class in Drama Therapy. One of the exercises we did was to partner up with a fellow classmate and improvise. One of us could only say: "I want it", whilst the other could only say: "You can't have it". We did this exercise several times over with some variations but the gist of it  was always, one person wanting something and the other denying them it. I didn't have any particular problem playing this game until we got to the final part. The lecturer told us to sit facing our partner and this time actually voice out what we really wanted in real life and for our partner to neutrally but sincerely reply: "You will have it". When it came to my turn, I started off by saying "I want to finish my Masters and get a distinction..." and tears started forming in my eyes as I said "I want to be cured, to stop having to go to the hospital and just be normal and well again". I then had to stop myself as I could feel a wave of sadness washing over me. I don't know why I became so emotional, I guess that's why drama therapy works! You think you're innocently playing improvisation games but in reality you're accessing your unconscious. I think that deep down, it really hit home for me that I want something i.e. to be cured, yet life is denying me it.

I often see on Facebook a post that keeps going round about Cancer. It goes something like: "All of us have a thousand wishes. A Cancer patient only has one wish, to be cured..." (I'm paraphrasing but that's basically it!) But I think this is true for anyone with an illness/disease. It is so important to remind people that because of how rare Cushing's is, we don't have as much support from the medical and general community as other common diseases such as Cancer. So please, remember that we want to be cured just like every one else who is sick. We did not choose to be this way by eating too much or being lazy. Cushing's is serious and it kills. By helping raise awareness and being there for people like me who need your love and support, you can be that partner that says: "You will have it".