Day 3: What 3 things has Cushing's stolen from you

What 3 things has Cushing's stolen from you:

1. Self-esteem. One of the most important things Cushing's has taken from me is my self-esteem. Sometimes we don't realise how important it is to feel confident in ourselves until we are put in a situation when we feel so uncomfortable we'd rather disappear. It is only once you lose confidence in yourself that you realise how important it truly is. When I was younger I had moments when I didn't feel totally confident in my appearance (as many teenagers do) but it never completely prevented me from engaging in activities I enjoyed. After Cushing's and the devastating effect its had on my body, image and confidence, I am reluctant to do things I used to love. For example, I no longer dance and sing in public. In the past few months I've been working really hard to restore it and have already started singing in public again but I can tell you, it takes a lot to overcome. At the end of the day, it is true that the harshest critic is usually ourself but I also know first hand how cruel and judgemental people can be. And there is one area in which I am having extreme difficulty getting my confidence back and that is interpersonal relationships. Which brings me to the 2nd thing Cushing's has stolen from me:
2. The ability to trust others. Not only have I not been able to have a serious relationship in over 6 years, but my lack of self-esteem and confidence has even prevented me from building and sustaining friendships. Because of my inability to fully open up to others I haven't been able to get close to anyone in real life. For a long time, I refused to take part in social engagements because I felt so uncomfortable. I also didn't feel like myself and in a way I was therefore not allowing myself to make friends because I wanted people to know the "real me", not this Cushing's version of me.
   And so the last thing I would say it has taken from me is:  
3. 8 years and counting... Ever since I became ill I feel like I've put my life on hold. Not being able to do the things I want and not feeling like myself. Especially in the first few years, when I was undiagnosed and I thought that all my problems were "in my head". I can't believe how much time I wasted blaming and hating myself, wishing I could fix myself or die. I went through some very dark times. I also wasted hours on end at doctor's offices, hospital waiting rooms, waiting for blood test results, MRI scans, etc... It also appears that I am not yet fully cured therefore Cushing's is still taking up a lot of my time. More appointments, tests, etc... But the difference is, now I refuse to let it take more time than it needs/deserves. I am insightful enough to realise that how I cope with my disease is up to me and that I can stop it from dictating the rest of my life.