Day 15: Is it too soon?

Is it too soon?


Earlier this week I was staying with some relatives and a distant cousin of mine who is 5 years old asked me: "Do you eat chocolate every day?". When I replied no, I was glad that she moved on to something else. But I wasn't so lucky after that. A few hours later, she started stroking my arm and laughing about how fat it is. "You have a fit thigh" she said, confusingly using the word thigh to mean upper arm. I was not offended by her comment as she was right but I simply replied: "Yes you're right, but this is my arm not my thigh". She then proceeded to ask me why my arm was so fat. I didn't know what to say!! I replied the usual response that any panicked person being questioned by a 5 year old gives: "Just because". What I failed to anticipate was that this time she wasn't going to let me off easy. "But WHY?", Why, why, why, why, why???? (Any one with kids or who's had to deal with kids will know how persistent they can be when you do not give them a satisfying answer). As I was debating in my mind whether to tell her it was because I was sick, I decided to distract her with a question of my own "Why is your hair black?". I'm not going to give you all the details about how she quite intelligently pointed out that it was because everyone in her family had black hair but basically, I got outsmarted by a 5 year old!!!

But the reason I'm sharing this story with you is because it really got me thinking, when should we start telling people/kids about things like disease and how they can affect you? How can we expect children to grow up without prejudice or misconceptions about overweight people if we do not provide them with an alternative explanation. It is normal that a 5 year old will assume that someone overweight eats chocolate every day because that's what is being portrayed around them. When I learned about the body in biology I don't remember being told that hormones affect weight. All I remember is being told that only a healthy diet and exercise will keep you slim and fit, and that eating badly will make you fat. So if even I didn't find out until I was 25, how can I expect this 5 year old to understand?

I remember I watched a program on TV a while back about people living with disfigurements. One of the guys on the show talked about how kids would often stare at him and either ask him (if they were brave enough) or their parents, why he looked like that. The man very rightly said that he understood their curiosity and in fact liked the opportunity to provide them with an explanation as this helped educate them. Part of me really wanted to tell my cousin that I was fat because I was sick and my disease affected my body but I think I was just too scared about what else she would ask. I was unsure about whether I could explain it to her properly and if it was really appropriate. I guess I was afraid of getting too serious with her considering how young she is. But with hindsight I regret not taking the opportunity. I think that she could have handled it and worse case scenario, she would have just changed the topic or stared at me blankly. Either way, I don't think it would have done any harm but it could have helped. We shouldn't be afraid of sensitising young people to the realities of life. It's not about scaring them it's about making them open, well rounded individuals. It's never too early to start education and awareness.